The Fundamental Problem

The Chinese philosophy of natural dualities is a classic instance of prescribed stupidity and induced intelligence far beyond the ordinary understanding of modern human. We have had conquerors and glorious rulers in past, but even the bravest of those heroes were of no match to PSY’s Gangnam style dance classic that enthralled billions of viewers with its uncanny bottom movements and priceless countenances on YouTube! The defining moment of human evolution wasn’t even remotely the invention of wheel or the circumstantial discovery of fire but implicitly the invasion of dubstep music in our daily lives.
Do you see the fundamental problem yet? If not then let me break it down for you. Modern man has judiciously defined his priorities of pop comfort and hostile internet over insignificant concepts of science and history. “So why dwell on these useless facts in public school textbooks?” Says Will Morgan, five time winner of ‘New Yorkshire Teenage Idol’ for his metal cover of Take Me Out (each time). Convenience is a silent revolutionary attempt to redefine contemporary society. And how much do you deny it demeanour will require certain adjustments as well. “Nobody should be allowed to remain down to earth unless he or she is successful” points out Estelle Barnes of Atlanta, 2nd woman to climb half the height of Mt. Everest, “as it conceals the true identity of a person.”
Certain scientists have publicly criticised this change only to invite thousands of people protesting outside White House. There were even demands for life imprisonment of anyone with an IQ above 1150. Later when they learned about the scale, the number was corrected to 115. But then the demonstrators were distracted by the opening day discounts at a new Sofa n Candy store in the locality and the idea had to be dropped. “They are people too!” said a guy who reported his name to be Gumboots.
But thanks to the Internet community which actively condemns any disparity in opinion with a Nicholas Cage meme, we are almost at the concluding phase of solving this fundamental problem.


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